Trick or Treat
by R4v3n Kn1ght
Summary: Lucius Malfoy hated Halloween. It meant the anniversary of his LORD's death, his kind being blamed for supernatural occurrences on this date, but worst of all it meant three words said by Muggles: "Trick or Treat!" Follows "Unwilling Taste Testers."


**Author's Note:** For this one, I completely lay the blame on Artemis Arcturus, and the Halloween Night Excitement. This is humor, and not to be taken seriously! I do not own Harry Potter, or any recognizable characters, locations, etc. They all belong to JK Rowling.

**Trick or Treat**

Lucius Malfoy hated Halloween. Halloween meant the ordinary Muggles or even the Mudbloods pretending that they knew all about magic! Halloween meant that everything strange that happened in the world in those twenty-four hours was blamed on his people – witches and wizards, but the annoying kinds with the warts and the witches who ate children (although Lucius did know some of those, but did not make it public)! Halloween meant another year anniversary of his LORD's death! Why everyone in the world celebrated Halloween he would never know. For Lucius it was a day of mourning. But worst of all, Halloween meant Muggles and Muggleborns having the nerve to come up to his door – at Malfoy Manor! – and say those infamous three words…

…like the ones that the cretins just outside of his door just said to him as he stood in the doorway.

"Trick or treat!"

Lucius's lip curled in disdain at these stupid children! One of them was dressed as a stereotypical witch. He longed to point out everything wrong with her outfit. If she thought she was a witch, this little girl should take a look at his sister-in-law! 'Now, _she_ is a frightening witch!' he thought. There was another little boy who was seemingly wearing a rug!

"And what is that?" Lucius asked, the disgust clear in his voice.

"I'm a werewolf!" said the rug-wearing child, proudly. He proceeded to howl to demonstrate it further. Lucius sneered.

"I'm a pirate! Argh!" growled another little boy, with his hand holding a non-metal hook. Hasn't the boy ever heard of a prosthetic? Or even Skele-grow Potion? Then, the boy had the nerve to _poke_ Lucius in the stomach with this revolting object! Lucius grimaced as though the child's touch spread poison onto his fine clothing instantly like an ink stain.

"If you were a pirate you would have stolen something from me!" barked Lucius!

There was a second little girl dressed in a dress that may have been worn by a witch if the Yule Ball allowed little children to attend. She had a fake shining crown on her curly-haired head. She seemed shy, but she tried to remind Lucius quietly, "Trick or treat?"

Lucius glared at the little…pseudo queen. "You can't do any tricks, you stupid girl."

"I'm a princess!" she insisted.

"I can do a trick!" shouted the werewolf.

"Astound me!" drawled Lucius.

The little werewolf whipped his mask away from his face. "See! I'm a human again! I can turn into a werewolf whenever I want!"

"That would make you an Animagus, and a werewolf Animagus does not exist!"

"What?" they all asked, confused.

Lucius suddenly remembered that these children were Muggles! Lucius sighed. They had no idea…Suddenly, Lucius had an idea. A cruel smile spread across his face. "Alright," he said, "a treat it is." He walked into his dining room quickly, and then seemed to momentarily forget where his kitchen was located. Once he remembered, he headed into the kitchen – a room in which he'd never set foot in his life! He looked around frantically, knowing that his wife, Narcissa, had just cooked a few new batches of cookies just this afternoon. They were shaped like skulls in a creative attempt to show her mourning of Voldemort's defeat on Halloween some years ago.

With a triumphant cry, Lucius saw them. He rushed to them and conjured some clear wrapping around groups of three cookies. He waved his wand and tied the wrapping with a black ribbon. With a satisfied expression, Lucius carried the clusters of cookies back to his front door where the four brainless children still stood.

"Here you are. One for you," said Lucius as he gave one cookie packet to the werewolf. He moved on to the pirate and the princess and the pathetic witch. "One for you, and you, and…you." The children all took them and looked admiringly at them. Then, they walked away and Lucius was still smiling cruelly at their departing figures.

Little did these children suspect that his wife was the worst cook in the history of the culinary arts, and that anything she made…would be legally considered poison. Even his dog, Death, could not eat her food! Lucius himself became ill! His son, Draco, tried to avoid eating as much as possible.

Surely these Muggle brats stood no chance…

_Hope everyone enjoyed this Halloween story! It is humor and not meant to be taken seriously. Please review and let me know what you think! Thanks for reading! _


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